So I will spare you all the stuff about life getting in the way and just tell you that life got in the way and what was supposed to have been last year’s Magical Holidaylicious Superior Ornament Exchange, Part the Seventh, became The Big Jett Flake-Out because of work junk and family junk and gosh, aren’t disclaimers and explanations sofa king tiring, though?
So here we are today and it is ON, All You Preciouses.
Brand New Participants, you can check out the past swap posts to get a feel for how this thing goes. Don’t be afraid, the previous participants aren’t completely batshit. I like my friends to have Big Personalities and felony records on the ’safer’ end of the spectrum. Wait, I think I’ve said too much. Let’s back up.
The basics are that you comment below with your name (real or imagined) and an email address that won’t flag me for spam. I then start spamming you with a Great New Business Opportunity reach out to you with the best way to submit your info to me so that I can set you up with a recipient. The goal this year is to have all the participants herded into the Good Cheer paddock by Saturday, 3 December and then we’ll aim for Tuesday, 13 Dec as the mailing deadline. If your recipient is in another country, I ask that you try to hit the ground running and get their ornament in the post as far ahead of that date as you can.
There are not a lot of rules for this thing, because rules are for suckers and we are all mostly-free spirits here. Here are some basic ground rules, though:
1) Meet the deadlines. It sucks to be the starry-eyed exuberant person who does all they can to make someone else’s day, only to be left out of the fun when people are sharing their boodle via social media (which isn’t a thing, but people do it*). So don’t, um, be a jerk. Set an alarm or tell Uncle Google to do his due diligence and remind you to work your magic.
2) You can make or purchase an ornament; said ornament should have a retail value of seven to twenty dollars. If you Make, you should be able to sell your creation on the open market for the aforementioned price range. If you are using one-dollar felt, you work some seven-dollar magic on that stuff, baby. I believe in you: I really and truly do.
3) There is no religious, geographical, age, sex, etc. etc. standard or limitation at play here. Red and yellow, black and white, you are all precious in my sight. We’ve had eight-year olds on up to sixty-eight-year olds get involved. Jews and Agnostics and Protestants and Buddhists and None-of-Your-Businesses (and maybe even a couple of Pastafarians or something) have thrown in on this jolly good time in the past. We are equal-opportunity dingdongs for sure, is what I’m saying. The only characteristic you need is a mindset of joy and mirth and inclusion (and hell, we’ve even had a couple of grumpy fuckers join us in the past, so like I said…everybody is welcome). This is about fun, and about surprising someone, and about maybe making a friend. Lots of connections have been made as a result of this thing, and your friendships and joy blooming are fun for me to watch.
This one is not a rule, but a preference: If you’re not making and would rather buy (no shame in that; I too have gone that route at times in the past), I’d like to gently suggest that you buy from a Maker. Artists bring humanity and soul to the table, and that is something we are forever in need of, whether you consciously acknowledge that or not. Spinners of humanity and soul require fancy things like electricity and groceries to fuel them.
And I ain’t gonna front even one little bit: I am fairly touchy about perpetuating the influx of cheap and exploitative import shitgoods into our country, so there’s that. Be the change, suckahs.
I love you. Let’s do the dang thang!
P.S. Feel free to invite all your pals so that they can be my pals too.
*how are we seven years into this thing and I’ve only JUST NOW thought to do an Official Hashtag for this business? more on that in the email to follow, Lort.